The New Holiday Film Review – The Streaming Giant’s Latest Holiday Romcom Misses the Sparkle.
Without wanting to come across as the Grinch, it’s hard not to bemoan the premature release of Christmas movies before Thanksgiving. Even as the weather cools, it feels premature to fully indulge in the platform’s yearly feast of cheap holiday entertainment.
Like US candy which don’t contain real chocolate, Netflix’s Christmas films are relied upon for their style of badness. They offer rote familiarity – familiar actors, low budgets, artificial winter scenes, and unbelievable plots. In the worst cases, these movies are forgettable train wrecks; at best, they are lighthearted distractions.
The new Netflix film, the latest holiday concoction, disappears into the vast middle of the forgettable spectrum. Helmed by Mark Steven Johnson, who previously last Netflix romcom was so disposable, this film feels like cheap bubbly – appropriately flat and situational.
The story starts with what looks like an AI-generated ad for drug store brand champagne. This ad is actually the pitch of the main character, played by Minka Kelly, to her coworkers at a financial firm. The protagonist is the construction paper cut-out of a professional female – overlooked, constantly on her device, and driven to the detriment of her private world. After her superior sends her to France to close a deal over the holidays, her sister makes her promise take one night in Paris to enjoy life.
Naturally, the French capital is the perfect place to pull someone from digital navigation, despite Paris is covered in below-grade CGI snow. In an absurdly cutesy bookstore, the lead has a charming encounter with Henri Cassell, and he distracts her from her phone. Following the genre, she at first rejects this ideal guy for frivolous excuses.
Just as predictable are the film elements that proceed at sudden shifts, mirroring the turning of old sparkling wine in the vaults of the family vineyard. The twist? Henri is the heir to Chateau Cassel, hesitant to run it and resentful toward his dad for putting it up for sale. Maybe the movie’s most salient contribution to romantic comedies, he is highly critical of corporate buyouts. The problem? Sydney truly thinks she’s not dismantling this family-owned company for profit, competing against three caricatures: a stern Frenchwoman, a rigid German, and a delusional gay billionaire.
The development? Sydney’s skeevy coworker Ryan shows up unannounced. The core? The two leads gaze longingly at each other in festive sleepwear, despite a huge divide in financial perspective.
The gift and the curse is that none of this lingers beyond a short-lived thrill on an unfilled belly. There is no real absorbent filler – Minka Kelly, still best known for her role in Friday Night Lights, gives a strictly serviceable portrayal, superficially pleasant and acts of kindness, more maternal than romantic lead. Tom Wozniczka provides just the right amount of Gallic appeal with mild self-torture and little else. The tricks are unfunny, the romance is inoffensive, and the happy-ever-after is predictable.
Despite its waxing poetic on the luxury of champagne, nobody claims this is anything but a mass market item. The things to hate are also the things to like. It’s fair to say an expert’s opinion about the film a champagne problem.
- Champagne Problems is now available on the platform.
